Where do you find spirituality or the presence of the Holy One/Higher Power/God when loved ones are facing death and/or dying?When I sit with our pre-B'nai Mitzvah students to prepare their divrei Torah (speeches), I always ask them "What do you believe about God and when have you ever felt close to God?" A huge percentage of the young people talk about sensing God's presence when a loved one - usually a grandparent - has died. Though the answers differ, they find a sense of connection with something bigger, something beyond, this realm. Some feel like God is getting them and their families through the difficult period. Others feel like this is not a regular time; it is more, deeper, poignant.
Times when a loved one dies are among the most vulnerable moments in our lives. Some of us are mad at the world/spirituality/God that this is happening. Others see them as moments of intense spirituality.
For me, these times - facing and living through the death of a loved one - are intense and incredibly spiritual. We stand - literally - at the intersection between life and death... and whatever is after. I am more aware of the blessings in my life. I am more appreciative also.
There is an incredible peace that comes - amidst the sadness - when someone dies. Peace that pain (or one kind of pain) is at an end. Peace that what's next is out of our hands. Hope that there is an Olam Haba, an existence that comes after this world. And a sense of assuredness - for me - that our souls become bound up with the Eternal Soul of the universe.
Those are my thoughts. What are yours?
4 comments:
When my mother was in the hospital one time before her death, quite a bit before, probably when she first became ill with her cancer, I found Debbie Friedman's music. Singing the Mishaberach calmed me, game me a way to pray and let me relax into my faith. I turn to Jewish music in times of trouble, joy and when I need to connect with God. Debbie remains one of my favorites, with Cantor Doug, Sheryl, Rick Recht, and a few others. Even Barbra Streisand has a few very spiritual songs. So for me, music plays a very important role, specifically Jewish music.
I don't really know to comment on this one. I am so afraid of death that it's a subject I seldom think about. My only real experience with this was my grandmother, which was a huge loss for me, but a long time ago. I still miss her.
I'd like to become less afraid of death, I suppose. I like what Rabbi Paul said about his personal certainty that what lies beyond is great.
Does anyone else believe that too?
Liz, so many of us are afraid of death. For some, it is the unknown. For others, it is the fear of being dead themselves. Just what, do you think, you are afraid of?
I know that for many parents, when their Kindergarten and their second grade children begin asking about death (age appropriate set of questions), they begin to freak out. Perhaps as we become more comfortable with death, hospice is helping us here, this will become easier.
I think that since it is inevitable, I am less afraid than I might have been. Plus, being around death a lot - meaning, officiating at funerals - has made me appreciate it as part of the cycle of life.
Holly,
I agree with you about the power of prayer and especially of music to soothe us during very difficult times. That's why Or Ami is so focused on music and why "being musical" is part of our Vision statement.
So too with illness and death are music comforting. It is interesting that in the orthodox funeral service, there is no music. Perhaps because music was supposed to be uplifting and death/mourning is a time to face the loss. I believe that music helps us face the loss.
Thanks for commenting.
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