Impact

Thursday 9/9/10

O.K. So, the High Holy Days and other significant spiritual notions were rattling around in my head. So much so, that usually I am a deep and heavy sleeper but I was awaken at 4:41 am this morning after an intense dream that involved Steven Spielberg and my spirituality. The dream isn't really important and just to sum it up Mr. Spielberg and I were riding in a car having and intense Torah discussion. The topic was the Akedah (the binding of Isaac) and the conversation was pandemonium, flowing, magical, spiritual, madness! When Mr. Spielberg and I realized what we were doing, we had a big laugh! We acknowledged each other’s enthusiasm and deep mutual love of our Jewish identities. I thanked him for pressing mine to me at a very young age through his philanthropic endeavors, films and his unashamed self-pride in being a Jew. I reminded Mr. Spielberg of his importance to Jews, “After all” I said, ''how many filmmakers can say they have affected people in the way you affected so many?'' Of course he took it in stride, though, he did shoot me a fake smile and I felt a bit like a kiss-ass. There was a long, awkward silence then, eyes wide open! It was 4:41 am and I was now awake and awake for good.

First I have to say that I didn't weigh in on the last question on our Spiritual Blog, the "Summertime Question" due to the fact my work schedule has never been more intense, tons of traveling, night work and a lot of 18 hour days. This turns out as all things do, if you allow them to unfold and stay in the moment, to be just fine. As things go my ''Summertime Question'' and response roll right into the High Holy Days question.

Utmost is that this has been one of the most spiritually powerful times in my life. Starting in the summer, on June 5th with the Bat Mitzvah of my daughter Sofia. The single most powerful experience (other than the birth of my children) in my life. When asked to describe, I say it was like my wedding on steroids. As intense, as spiritual, as warm, the overpowering love in the room, everything my wedding was but...it was for someone we love more than ourselves.

This past summer marked my return to meditation after a very long hiatus and with it, a clear intention. Meditation had been elusive the last few years to say least and intention, forget about it!

I also spent a good amount of time in Hawaii (for work). I am a former professional surfer who had devoted an enormous amount of time both in and out of the water to Hawaii, though I hadn't returned in many years. Hawaii is the Jerusalem of surfing, the spiritual center of the surfing universe and it is certainly not wasted on me. I surfed as much as I worked. With little sleep (I was working nights, albeit in the most beautiful locations you could ever imagine) but I was overflowing with monumental amounts of raw energy due to the environment surrounding me. Just the smell alone, not to mention the clarity of the water and sky… My soul had filled and was beginning to overflow.

Then there was my brother-in-law's twin daughters baby naming. My wife Janna and I were asked to write a brucha for the naming. Let me first say that writing a brucha is my absolute favorite task. To boil down the essence of love and devotion (all blessings can be distilled to these notions) into 80 words or less, (including a piece of the weeks Torah portion) is an art that I am fully adept at. So, I write Janna reads. She is too busy to contribute as a writer so, l write no problem. Simple. A great discovery was made! I write, Janna reads, all cry! The combination of my concise passion and Janna's supreme tenderness, dignity and repose while reading… Knocked it out of the spiritual park if you will. The great thing about such events is they are a win, win situation. After all who was to be blessed? Well, of course the babies and how wonderful the love for them but it always works in reverse as well. The babies get the group consciousness of love, in turn the babies open up our hearts and all feel the words (if they are paying attention, hence 80 words or less). It was an outstanding moment to say the least. My week was already made at this point, I needed nothing else to carry me spiritually until Shabbat. Though, shortly after the ceremony another wonderful event occurred. I was approached by the Rabbi, an exceptional women with whom I had taken a few classes a couple of years past. She hadn't remembered me from class (which I felt was a positive) but she wanted to know my deal. The Rabbi appreciated my words and wanted to know more about the man who wrote them. I told her of my passion for Judaism, writing and how all things in my life, I felt, were leading me down a path narrowing towards a new career. ''And with whom was I affiliated? Ah…Rabbi Paul Kipnes. Good! Good.'' After further probing and a short but intensely honest discussion I told the Rabbi of my not so secret dream of the Rabbinate and she responds with, ''You must take the next Lay Leaders Retreat at the Institute for Jewish Spirituality''. The Rabbi expresses her belief that perhaps I might better serve the Jewish community in other ways, that through meditation, Torah study and silence at the retreat I might find the proper path and with her words I am now flying! We also agree to keep in close touch throughout the process. I think, what an incredible afternoon, so many spectacular moments packed into 3 hours.

All of these events are at the forefront of my thoughts as I slept, like I said literally all this rattling around my brain. I awake at 4:41 am and I start to blog at 4:50 am (had to have coffee!). I write until the kids have to be taken to school. Close the computer, knowing I will not be able to return for a week. It will have to be after the High Holy Days I am working many long hours and this was my window until post Neilah.

Saturday 9/18/10

So, tonight I return and clean up what was previously written and add the High Holy Days portion. For those who attended the services you know. For those who attended the study sessions in-between? You are even more fortunate. Once again our hearts were filled with love, exultation and rapture. The rabbis, the cantor, the choir, the children, the soloists, the orchestra, the congregation, the venue, on and on I could go. So many times tears streamed down my face, the beauty of the music, the truth of the benediction, the history in our prayers, the embrace of my children, wife, mother-in-law and friends as we moved to and fro. This was perfection in moments. I pine for the High Holy days. I exist for this time, the time to shed life's transgressions and periphery, to decompress, gather up the family and go get our souls replenished. To stand in the congregation and belt out the Shema. To see all who I miss, love and have shared so much with at Or Ami. To hear my daughter sing Mi Chamocha. To see my son listen with intent. To watch my wife relax and become whole. To close my eyes and listen, as the grind of everyday life fades, the rabbi's words, the cantor's music, my heart ascends, as I fly through the universe as light.

''The High Holy Day and the impact on my spirituality?'' Impact defined as; the action of one object coming forcibly into contact with another.

You bet, as spirit and soul.